The Result of Perpetual Motion

phase one: shock.

phase 2: excitement

phase 3: awe

I snuck to 3rd row and nearly got kicked out at least 4 times.  I danced with strangers, security guards, on chairs, made lots of friends and had an all around amazing time  AMAZING!!!!

He closed the show with Gravity… ahhhhhhhhh.

My sis and me!

I feel overwhelmed with material & the sustenance that complicates life– I don’t know really where to begin.  For starters, I found some saved drafts on my blog from the past 2 weeks that were never published… pathetic, really: 

“It’s Thursday afternoon and I’m sitting here…”

“I can’t remember the last time I went this long without writing in my blog… Japan, perhaps?  I see a trend in my life when I don’t write:  It’s only when I have too much material to blog.  I guess I feel overwhelmed and I don’t feeling like sorting though everything, which is what blogging often forces you to do.”

“Wow, I guess since I don’t feel like recounting my life for the past week and a half, I’ll just give you the scoop on me at this very moment.

It’s 10:45 in the morning and I’ve been up since 8 feeling sick.  Sick, but I’m not  unhappy, if that makes sense at all…  I’m lying in my nook…”

It’s better I didn’t post these right then, for 2 reasons: so that I can poke fun at myself right now, and so that no one stumbled upon my blog and stumbled forward just as quickly due to the lack of constructive content and talented writing it would appear to contain. 

 

“Outta sight, outta mind.”  Why can is it so easy for some to feel hurt and angry after not hearing from someone for a while? I feel a struggle to keep in contact with those I love; it becomes impossible to stay caught up and close to everyone.  I would spend all of my time doing so, and the time I had left in my day I’d be exhausted! Is my faith in my relationship with my family and friends naive?  I don’t feel it necessary to talk to them as often as I’d like in order to keep our loving relationship… I don’t feel upset when I don’t hear from them as often as I’d like, either, because I love them just the same, and I know when we see each other things will go straight back the way they’ve always been–the way they’ll always be.

I’ve admitted that I’ve been bad at staying close to these people, and I just want to throw out a huge 

I LOVE YOU.  

and tell you that we’ll talk very soon.  With all the forms and modes of communication, there’s no excuse to miss someone like this.

OH MY GOD JOHN MAYER IS TODAY.   I AM GOING TO SEE JOHN MAYER IN HIS REAL, LIVING, BREATHING, HONEST-TO-BLOG SEXY SELF TODAY. HIS TRULY SENSITIVE, VIDEO GAME PLAYING, PORNO LOVING, GRAMMAR PERFECTING, WATCH-PIMP, COCONUT EATING, GUMBALL 3000 SELF. I’M WORRIED AND CURIOUS AS TO HOW I WILL REACT  WHEN HE COMES ON STAGE… I’VE SEEN COLDPLAY IN CONCERT, CLAPTON, THE ROLLING STONES TWICE, SANTANA, B.B. KING, RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE, WU TANG CLAN, MOS DEF, JACK JOHNSON… AND NEVER HAVE I ACTUALLY HAD TO HYPE MYSELF DOWN FOR A CONCERT. I REALLY FEEL THAT IF I DISPLAY MY TRUE EXCITEMENT AND LOVE, SOMETHING BAD WILL HAPPEN. I’LL HAVE A HEART ATTACK OR GET TOSSED OUT OF THE CONCERT OR SOMETHING. BUT HONESTLY, I THINK I WOULD GET ALONG WITH JOHN REALLY WELL AND I JUST WISH WE COULD BE FRIENDS OR SOMETHING. SEE? NOW I’M STARTING TO SOUND CRAZY. BETTER GO, I’LL POST PICTURES AND WRITE ALL ABOUT TONIGHT. IT’S GOING TO BE PHENOMENAL. AND JUST SO YOU KNOW, I HAD TO ERASE NEARLY 20 EXCLAMATION POINTS FROM THIS POST TO AVOID SOUNDING LIKE AN ADOLESCENT CHEERLEADER.   

PS-GO SEE BATMAN, AND THEN WE’LL TALK.

It’s been a long time since I last wrote.  I don’t quite know why… I could say that I’ve been busy, but I’m always busy, I should make time to write… I normally have an urge to post! Just not recently I guess.  I feel very happy, nothing is really the matter–perhaps I’m distracted by sunshine?  

I tend to pull away from different things or people and go M.I.A. for a while. It’s not everything all at once, just one thing for a while, until I feel like reappearing. It doesn’t mean I don’t love the person or thing, I just have to disappear, it feels uncomfortable to stay too plugged in, tuned in, attached, dependant and possibly consist ant to any thing.  This is all on a subconscious level, I don’t do it purposefully but I’ve noticed this trend since I was little and I have to accept it.  And I think those that love me have to accept it too–I don’t want to change.

Regaining my sense-of-self after the inevitable loss-of-self during adolescence, I based everything on independence.  I didn’t think I’d find myself without being totally and utterly comfortable being on my own.  I was right, but I took this idea to its most extreme sense and now independence is such a vital part to my identity… I don’t know if I’ll ever be capable of a traditional relationship.  Or one of any sort, for that matter.  But then I catch myself giving advice that I should be taking… “when it’s right, it’s easy.”  And then it’ll get hard (most likely) but it shouldn’t be difficult to will yourself to love someone, should it?  Will yourself to love?  That sounds terrible!  I just have to try to have faith that it’s in me somewhere and when it’s right it’s right.

I’m laying in my bed right now next to my little sister, my tummy still feels full of strawberry shortcake and my legs are tight from the bike ride I went on with my dad yesterday.  I complained for the first part of the ride, and actually nearly burst out into tears as I exclaimed, “Dad I just really don’t feel like busting my ass up a hill right now!!”  My voice cracked and then I sprinted up ahead of him so that he couldn’t see my tears.  I was wishing Eva were there to give me a hug.  Alas, I did it.  I did really well, too… except for the last 100 feet of uphill that was so steep my legs could not get me up it.  So i jumped off my bike, pulled my shoes off and ran up the hill.  My dad just laughed at me the whole time, saying things about how I haven’t really changed since I was a little girl.  He took everything with such humor and ease, I couldn’t help but laugh at myself (mostly while he wasn’t looking.)  By the way, the view at the top was amazing… you could see everything.

John Mayer on  Wednesday.  WOW. WOW. Great balls of fire.  I’m wearing my new shirt right now,and you know what?  He’s a really great writer, a sensitive blogger and I’m not afraid to admit that I really want to find a way to somehow get my letter to him.  I do!

I love my little sister.  She’s great at listening, and I don’t mean listening to my stuff but listening to the lessons and advice I have to offer her.  She gets it, and she’s smart.  I could probably learn a thing or two from her.  Anyway, I redesigned this page, let me know if you think I should keep trying for a better layout.  I don’t quite know if this one fits but I wanted a new design to inspire inspiration.  I’ll write more frequently, miss you, love you, muah muah. G’night. Erika 

John,

Since brevity is the soul of wit, I’ll try to keep my silly fan letter brief.  Avoiding the incessant, cliche expressions of fanaticism, I simply want to convey my gratitude.  I say “simply” although, really, I don’t find it in the least bit simple.  

When I was a little girl, jazz and blues music fit like a missing piece in my heart…  as if I hadn’t quite been a complete person until The Allman Brothers, Stevie Ray Vaughn and John Coltrane played through my fathers stereo system.  I felt a sense of overwhelming love and certainty when I first heard this music. I felt certainty and, somehow, knowledge that the love I felt was much greater than I could understand at that time.  

Since then, this music has proved to be the rare gift in my life that always feels right and good and necessary for me to live.  

Of course, my love for music bleeds from jazz and blues into other genres: classic punk, folk music, hip-hop, soul, new-age rock… but jazz and blues are the crux, my core, quintessential and vital to my soul.  Music provides me with my passion; nothing would feel as wonderful or be as beautiful without blues music in my life. Normally I would feel uncertain or scared giving that enormous of a role to any single thing… but that is the magnificence.  I feel safe attributing my fervor and lust for life to the sounds of Miles, B.B., and my favorite Clapton, Page & Beck vinyl.  Their music offers the necessary tools for a fulfilling life; they never, ever fail me.

Here is where I lose my voice.

My love for your guitar renders me speechless, a challenge I hope to overcome in this letter.  

Your music has offered me enormous comfort, has articulated my passion for life and has bestowed upon me a larger capacity for love.  Continuum is a sanctuary, my safe haven, and has such immense depth that it contains the ability to grow and change with me through times of heartbreak and loneliness, then love and strength and everything in between.

If Dwayne, Stevie, Miles, Mr. King, Mr. Davis and Mr. Clapton color my world, then your music spins it into vivid motion.  

You’d play all the songs on the soundtrack of my life.   You’re the voice of the generation that I’m so proud to be a part of, and your music represents the basic change I wish to see in the world. I admire you fervently, ardently, to no end, in that undying “I’ve-got-your-back” sort of way.  

So apparently exuding bold, colorful, unceasing love works.  The world is drawn to you because you’ve learned to steep that love into your music and we return the it in this sort of magnificent, continuous, continuum of a cycle. That is what it’s all about.

Thank you for brightening my life and never, ever letting me down.  And sweet heaven, thank you for The Trio.

Modestly and adoringly always,

Erika Anderson

Inspiration FOUND. Of course, found it in John Mayer.

I’m going to type for a minute non-stop, and I’m not going to edit this until the end because I just need to write. 

Pardon while i go off on a slightly sexual tangent about the slow blues…

Listening to John Mayer is like sex! His new live album Where The Light Is, I swear to you…. it almost makes me moan out loud as i sit here on my couch at 1 am.  It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve heard or felt in a long time… this song makes me hold my breath and I’m tingling all over and….  I know I don’t usually ever confess any of my love affairs on my blog, few tales of my romance, but I’m admitting this right now, as if you couldn’t already tell:

I’m having a passionate love affair is with these John Mayer blues.

I know, I know, I know! I sound so intense about this, but those closest to me know my passionate obsession for those things that i’m passionate about.  The blues were my first real love, beginning with the Allman Brothers, then Eric Clapton, then Muddy Waters and the list flies off the handle from there.  I remember when I went to camp for a week one summer in high school, I didn’t miss anyone or anything except for my blues music.  I yearned for Eric Clapton, not kidding you!  Where was my iPod? I don’t know… it must have died or something.

My musical taste has grown an evolved and John Mayer is where it lands.  Forever..

Now my heart and my mind are racing and I need to go to bed. I won’t be able to go to bed.  I can’t sleep.  

I’m going to give John Mayer a gift certificate for the sandwich shop I work at and see if he comes in because I’ve never fainted before and I know that I would if he walked in the door! Except for now that I say that, i’d have to practice working on breathing in times of cataclysmic rapture… I would need to think of something to say before hand, my one liner.

If I could say one thing to John Mayer, what would I say?  What COULD i say?

Something like:

John, your music resonates so profoundly with me that I should claim it as my religion. In the least fanatical, most sincere sort of way, your guitar has elevated my capacity for love.

I’m working too much!  I need to post more often and I’m really sorry for the long delay.  Soon, today, later today I will update/inform.

For now, I’m super duper duper duper stoked on these guys.  No Age, check ‘em out.  They kill!!

Everyday when I get off work, I pretend that I just woke up and that I have a bright, new day ahead of me.  So I walked out of Moondoggies and took a deep breath and walked up the street to paint some pottery.  As I was leaving I noticed a line in front of The Palm, a quirky indie movie theater.  So I stood in line and asked the man in front of me what movie he was standing in line for.  The next thing I knew I found myself submerged in the most amazing film I’ve seen all year.  I even put it in front of all the other movies on my Myspace favorites, as if that is the most passionate declaration of love…  but honestly.

The Fall is an imaginative tale of two characters who meet at a hospital in Los Angeles.  Little Alexandria, played by Catinca Untaru, brings innocence and light to an otherwise dark film… her character was flawlessly and utterly charming;  Untaru sparkles with a curiosity and honesty that will capture your heart.  After Alexandria finds Roy Walker, broken hearted and bed-ridden, the movie comes to life with vivid photography and masterful cinematography.  He tells her an “epic” tale of bandits and swimming elephants and Charles Darwin. The central theme of the film is, quite obviously, falling–the fall from grace and what happens thereafter.  The story was beautifully tragic, appropriately sarcastic, provocative and velvety-dark.  Here is the trailer, I highly reccommend you indulge in this awesome film :  )

I know I haven’t written in a long while, but my computer isn’t currently working.  This is not so good since I being 2 online classes tomorrow, and I don’t have a car to use the Cuesta computers, and today my rear bike tire got a flat… and strangely enough, my cell phone has been on and off recently and I feel as though many important things in my life are falling apart, all the while I’m doing just fine.  I’ve been working 7 days a week, I’m moving out of my apartment, and really just feel like I’m a young adult now!  I quite love it.

But I’m not going to kiss any boys for a while.

The End.

The cover and contents of Rolling Stone Magazine this month are like… they’re just… it’s like love, or lust or something.  It makes my heart pound and feel all full of happiness.  I’m giddy and smitten over Rolling Stone.

First of all, the cover has pictured: Kirk Hammett, Carlos Santana, Buddy Guy, Eddie Van Halen, Jimmy Page, B.B. King, Omar Rodriguez Lopez and (last and never, ever least) John Mayer.  John Mayer, looking like the sexiest, most perfect man to ever walk the earth.  He’s got this amazing head of dark brown hair, this little smirk on his pretty lips, and he’s wearing his new irezumi tattoo sleeve, a white v-neck and nike air force ones.  Side Note: I’ve seen B.B King and Santana in concert, and now I’m about to see John Mayer, I feel so spoiled-bratty-like.

That said, I’ve had to make a decision not to see Coldplay.  It breaks my heart…. really, it feels like I’ve taken a punch to the gut or something… it hurts. But I can’t do everything.  And I’ve already seen them in concert… BUT THE NEW ALBUM IS SO FREAKING AMAZING IT LEAKED ON THE INTERNET AND I FOUND IT AND OHHHHHHHHHHHH….. but no… I’ll survive without seeing them on tour this year.  I will survive, even if I don’t feel like I will  So since I can’t go see them, Eva and I are going to make a HUGE deal out of the release of their new album, like wait in line for Boo Boo Records to open and then blast it as loud as we can with our eyes closed to pretend like we’re seeing Chris Martin in the living room.

I move in to my new loft soon, it’s so adorable and it will be nice to have my little cubby of a space to call my own.  I will miss my roommates a lot.  I just love them so much, and can you imagine… I found them on CraigsList.com??  Lucky, lucky girl I am.

Back to Rolling Stone:  Statesboro Blues by The Allman Bros. is number 9 greater guitar song of all time.  No. 1 is Johnny B. Goode, Purple Haze no. 2, Crossroads by Cream no. 3.

“Once, on T.V. I saw John Lennon say he wished he could play like me.  I almost fell out of my chair.”
–B.B. King

Killing in the Name by Rage is no. 24 (Tom Morello is a god,) Seven Nation Army is no. 21, and London Calling is no. 48.

John Mayer said,

“[The blues] are so fundamental in me that I have to imagine that it was just born into me.  You either want to hear those notes bend or you don’t.”

“With guitar, you get out what you put in, and it’s the ultimate shield for other people trying to fuckin’ take away your heart and soul.  It’s a completely exposed craft.  There is no facade.”

I mean, I really adore that man.  He’s the absolute most impeccable, indefectable, immaculate, consummate character that I’ve ever imagined.

Play this song before you read my blog post. It’s pure magic.

Coldplay Viva la Vida

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls: I am going to see Coldplay.

I am going to see Coldplay
AND
I’m going to see John Mayer.

And then I’m going to die the happiest girl in the world. OHHHHH MY GOD, I just, I just, have no words for my excitement. The thought of missing either of the two in concert makes me feel heavy and sad and depressed, it makes me feel broken hearted. And so, it must be done. I must imerse myself in their music.

My mind has been toying back and forth with my summer plans….I’ve almost posted my plan a half dozen times, but have stopped myself due to my uncertainty. Alas! I have the plan.

Unfortunately, Boston is out of the picture. We all know why: a sandwich is just as much as a gallon of gas. And I have this new theory working about how a sandwich is human fuel, and maybe it can fuel us just as far of a distance on a bike as a gallon of gas could a car. Depends on the car I guess… depends on the person.

So anyway, no east coast for me this summer. I’m sad, but I had to be practical. A week of vacation means no work hours, no paycheck, in the middle of summer school, costing about $700 dollars, not including opportunity cost. It just wouldn’t be smart, you feel me?

So instead, my summer fun is going to be 2 major concerts here in beautiful Calif. My justification for them is the opportunity cost, and the fact that I’m not paying for an airplane ticket to Boston. Basically, 2 nights off for 2 concerts in California versus 7 nights off for 1 concert in Boston. Am I making sense?

I love this website: Last.fm

Check it out, seriously kicks booty.

And if you’re ever feeling blue: This website will make your heart melt.

Thank’s for that, Max.

Last night I had a dream where every single time I tried to pour tea in my teacup, a tennis ball was in the bottom, which frustrated me to no end. Furthermore, I was never able to take it out! WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?

IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER

1. Benicio del Toro is even sexy as a heroine addict in Things We Lost In The Fire. I love his furled brow and his strong gaze and the way he holds his mouth when he thinks, but most of all I love his full name:

Benicio Monserrate Rafael Del Toro Sanchez

Oh la la.

2. John Mayer. Everyone knows how I feel about this fella…. not much more to be said except for I need to do everything in my power to try and get to Boston in a month.

3. Steven Colbert is truly fearless. He has every right to his arrogance because he really is as amazing as he believes himself to be. If you don’t believe me, watch part one of his speech at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner.

4. Smart, good looking, articulate, clean… who wouldn’t want this man, lover, President, or otherwise?

5&6. Just to clarify, it’s JEmaine, not JERmaine. Yes, I want he and Bret’s collective babies. Though if I had to choose one it’d be Bret. I know, there might seem to be a trend in my choice of tall, dark and handsome men but of course I can never be predictable. That said, I love Bret’s boyish, perhaps slightly elfish face and small frame. But really, it’s his occasional facial hair and moppy head that gets me– and I’m not usually one for the scruffiness.

8. Have I mentioned my love for E.E. Cummings in the past? Perhaps. Anyway, he’s perfect feel, like Impressionism. Abstract and created without rules, just emotion. He’s raw and edgy but sexy and soft at the same time. Like handcuffs. Just hear these lines and try to appreciate :

Humanity i love you
because you would
rather black the boots of
success than enquire whose
soul dangles from his
watch-chain which would
be embarrassing for both
parties and because you
unflinchingly applaud all
songs containing the words
country home and mother
when sung at the old howard
Humanity i love you because
when you're hard up you pawn your
intelligence to buy a drink and when
you're flush your pride keeps
you from the pawn shop and
because you are continually
committing nuisances but more
especially in your own house

Humanity i love you because you
are perpetually putting the secret of
lifer in your pants and forgetting
it's there and sitting down
on it
and because you are
always making poems in the lap
of death Humanity

i hate you

9.

10.