I almost just came on here to erase some things I said in earlier posts that may hurt some people. But, I decided not to since my goal with this blog is to write the truth. I think thats what writers are: seekers of truth.
So today is my last day in the USA! I went to the city with my dad this morning. He’s been making fun of the new shoes I bought, calling me a “dork” and that I looked like an old person or a nurse in them. But we walked past a window display in Union Square today and the manequins were wearing my shoes! It was great. Then I had a wonderful lunch with Anita and saw the Baldry’s house that is nearly finished!! Lookin’ FAB-U-LAS, I have to say… it looks like I’m moving in with them when i get back. 😉 Then my mom put together a wonderful dinner!
I’ve been very spacey today, probably since I’ve got a whole lot goin’ on in my head. Its hard to be social when your all up in your own head, thinking about things. Its especially difficult since what people want most from you during days like today is for you to be social. They want to spend time with you, have some good laughs, light conversation but it can be hard to focus on that when theres the overwhelming thought: ‘I leave on a plane for Japan tomorrow morning and I wont come back for 2 months.’ Of course, I then realize that it’s important to live in the present. So when I think about that, I relax a bit to whats going on around me… absorb the moments with my friends and family before I take off. And I had a wonderful last-evening. My mom cooked tacos for the Baldry girls, Ms. Leah and myself and then we had root beer floats to top it off, I couldnt have asked for a better night.
After everyone left my Mom expressed her unhappy thoughts about me keeping her distant from my plans for Japan, and her disappointment in me for not supplying her with my ‘itinerary’ or contacts or email address ect. The fact is, I don’t really have an itinerary. A few contacts, and an e-mail address but getting in touch with me via phone should be nearly impossible. Sorry Mom! The first time I approched her about Japan her reaction was less than supportive, so I kept her a bit out of the loop ever since. I admit that. Keeping her out of the loop worked because she never asked me any questions about my plans or anything, so I never took initiative. Now tonight, the night before I leave, she picked a fight with me and its just kind of upsetting. Totally like her though. Some people really don’t know how to handle feelings very well and these people are bad at goodbyes. [I thought I was bad at goodbyes! Turns out i’m not… I guess I just kind of mutter and stumble over my words.] Anyway, sometimes we have to see someone acting like that and not take it personally. It’s most often issues they have with themselves, and it’s best if we understand that sometimes the people we love don’t express their love in healthy ways. I know she was just trying to say that shes worried but excited for me and she loves me very much. I love you too Mom 🙂
IM GOING TO JAPAN TOMORROW MORNING!
And I am SO stoked!!!!!!!!!!
I’m almost all packed (you know that tedious last minute stuff?) and my dad and I are leaving tomorrow around 8:30 or 9. HOLY MOTHER OF GOD.
The next blog I post will be in Japan, now maybe my blog posts won’t be so booooring…