I CANNOT BELIEVE IT! Absolutely amazing. I am, in fact, alive. Alive! Standing on solid ground (still swaying a bit from side to side,) and i just ate something and kept it down.
My life has changed, i now have an understanding of Christopher Columbus and the Pilgrims that i never had before… also the slaves that were brought over in ships from Africa to America, and i may even have a little bit of respect for Captain Hook. Maaaybe.
Dozo; Allow me to further explain myself! The emerald sea was in a fury last night, a mighty fury indeed (arrg, she was!) I boarded the ship back to Kagoshima around 7 am on the fourth without even a shred of an idea that the weather was going to be more than a little cloudy. Infact, i fully intended on sitting out in the sun and getting myself some color while reading my beloved Mark Twain. Ohhhh was i mistaken. The instant we left the harbor, mother nature toyed with us! Thats right, she played with us as if she were a cat and we were a little ball of yarn. As if she were a hysterically happy little boy in a bath tub and we were a little toy boat. Almost instantly I got so sick that i could do nothing but lie down flat on my face for nearly 24 hours. I couldnt even lift my head an inch or else id feel like making a run for the toilet, only i couldnt do that either because it was extremely difficult to walk on such a topsy turvy surface. I couldnt stop laughing when i tried to! I was wearing socks though, so i found myself skiing down the hallway… anyone would have laughed. BECAUSE IF YOU DIDNT LAUGH YOU WOULD CRY I TELL YOU! Cry for your life, is what you would do. Thats what i did.
So i couldnt move a muscle, couldnt read because that would entail lifting my head, i couldnt write for the same reason and because my pen would only find the paper for sheer moments before being torn away from it by the ups and downs of life on the wide open sea. All i could do was sip green tea through a straw and listen to music, for 24 hours. I have a nano iPod, too.
Also, i was in a small room crammed with over 30 other Japanese women ALL OF WHOM SNOR. Dad, who ever told you that Japanese women snorring is not commonplace, hasnt slept with very many of them I’ll tell you that right now. Anyway, i guess i cant be too hard on them since i totally disrupted the quiet of the whole place by contracting myself, out of nervousness, a horrible case of hic-ups. If you know me, maybe you know about my hic-ups. One thing theyre NOT, is discreet. And there was no where to hide! I tried moving about the ship on all fours to keep my center of gravity low, but people laughed at me and tried to feed me their fish heads as if i was a dog. A dog with hic-ups? Ive never heard of such a thing. Finally i took refuge on the ”western style” toilet, mind you i had my pants UP, but i needed to escape the tyranny of Japan over my hic-ups! I was still feeling very queezy at this point and i think that distraction made my hic-ups finally go away. There was a little porthole in there and i watched the waves for a while and they were like mountains. The biggest I ever did see!! You know, they looked like that famous Japanese wave (hokusai i think its called?) White cresting the tops of them, and they were in the shape of a monsters open mouth. This scared me to pieces, our ship would barely make it over the top of a monster wave and then go flying down the other side at such a steep angle i would nearly slip off the seat.
So i returned to snorville, which felt like a mix between a homeless shelter and nap time in kindergarden. It was ugly though– nap time would be cute, i imagine. This was ugly with drool, and pillows the same shape and size of keenex boxes, and blankets that were the color of mustard and ketchup mixed together. And when i layed down, the boat decided to lift, smushing my face into the nasty carpet. This segment was the worst.
For 5 hours it went in a cycle like this: up, up. UP, UP! UP!! And you would go so far up you felt like you were going to lift off to the moon. It was the same feeling you get when you go as high as you can on a swing, right before you make that little *jump* which tells you you’ve gone too high. That feeling of weightlessness, like when you were little and your dad would toss you into the air and then catch you just as you were coming down. Or on a roller coaster, the point just before you start to fall and your heart gows up into your throat. Like that. UP! UPP!! higher! and then…
downdowndowndown DOWWWWWNNNNNNN…. DOWN. So far down that you feel twice your normal weight and you couldnt life your arm up if you tried with all your might.
Then! upupupupUPUP UPPP!!!!
Over, and over and over for hours on end. Children were crying, announcements in Japanese were being made, miso soup couldnt be served with dinner, all the while i was going over in my head what i would do it we were to sink. If you want to know, i decided i’d stuff my face full of the rice i saved for breakfast, so that i had energy, I’d grab my memory card from my camera and my passport and i’d stuff a ton of mini snickers bars into my bra to maintain my bloodsugar in the cold water. Good thing i never had to do that. All day today i still feel and see the world as if it were constantly swaying back and forth.
However, i ate. I hadnt eaten in over 24 hours, and i felt like a european meal. Let me tell you how this worked out.
I bought canned french onion soup, a salad with tomaotes and corn and a little grated cheese, and a cibatta roll. Well, the soup was alright but the grated cheese on the salad ended up having eyeballs and tasting extremly salty (so much so that i considered call this blog ”theres something fishy about Japan.”) and the cibatta roll ended up having little plums all up in it. Thats the closest i can get, ladies and gents, to an American meal. Guess i’ll stick with the rice balls and yogurt.
Anywho, my carpel tunnel is hurting so i’m going to sign off.
Still enjoying herself but also missing California,