Today, at the airport, while watching the international flights arrive and noticing the homecomings of young japanese people who went abroad, i couldnt help but feel a little bit envious of them. How badly i would like to go home! How teasing it is to be in the bustling, exciting enviornment that is an airport, but not be able to partake in the fun of flying home. How i long for the embrace of my friends and family! The tears of happieness that will be shed, and how i long to have a good, hearty laugh. Its been a long time since i’ve had a good laugh. 2 months…. the entire time i dont really ever laugh because nothing here really strikes me as all that hilarious. Giggling for 2 months is tough going, i want the kind of laugh where my cheeks hurt and i cant stop laughing.
Im sick of trying to fit in the mold in Japan… and so today on the way to the airport i did whatever i wanted. And everytime i caught someone starring at me i would flash them a big smile to scare them off. And everytime i saw a woman with such an unhappy look on her face like she had the bright sun in her eyes with her mouth hanging wide open, i would imagine myself walking up to her and shaking her and saying ”relax and smile!! life is not as painful as your face looks.” And i found myself disgusted with the mens business suits…. i would beg them, if i could, to change it up a little bit for gods sake. They all look EXACTLY the same and it drives me crazy! I saw a man with an orange tie and i nearly kissed his feet for his courage.
This culture lacks the passion that i have in my day-to0day life and its tough to handle. They dont ever really say ”i love you”, they dont ever hug, they hardly ever indulge themselves and they are rarely outwardly friendly to strangers, which can make life to very dull. So very, very dull and unexciting to say the least. When i return to California i shall be so happy that i will smile at every person on the street, and hug every aquantiance, and say i love you and be overly-excited and crazy and laugh as much as possible.
I miss my job even.
But! I have no choice but to have as wonderful of a time as possible with my dad for this next, last week. My goal is to exhaust him every day. I think i will do just fine 😉 Once we leave the Hagios tomorrow, i am not sure how often i will be able to find access to internet, but hopefully every day since this next week will, im sure, prove to be an entirely different Japanese adventure than my last one.
Why is it that no matter how long a vacation is, be it 2 weeks or 2 months, one is always ready to go home? I think we prepare ourselves mentally for it, and when we subconsciously know the time is running out we feel ready to return.
I need to take my bath. Good night, i love you.