Friends, Home for the Holidays, Life, Parties, Sonoma, Wine

Here’s to you, 2007.

You were a great, great year. Its New Years Eve, my best friends birthday, and i’m brushing my teeth while i type this. Or, rather, i’m sucking on my toothbrush since i need both hands to type. I tend to do too many things at once. So i havent been home for over a week (except for the occasional stop-by to restock panties and other such things). This week has been amazing, and i just feel so happy doing my thing i can’t even tell you. I’ve spent the night at Rashell’s new place in the city, at Rayna’s place in the city, at Raynas home in SR, at Eva’s place in SR, and at my mom’s studio. I can’t really explain why at certain periods and times in my life i really cling to my friends more than anything. The great part is, they embrace me also and we find each other as close to family as anything can get.  I feel a bit strange because my sister is here in Sonoma, home from Boston and i havent been hanging out with her very much. I guess its mostly my fault and i’m sorry for that Ash. But its hard for me to be home sometimes! And its not my sister that i don’t want to be around, its the home enviornment.How strange is this: as humans and family members, we can go off on our own, establish our own lives, find ourselves outside of the limits our familys give us, create a routine that we find works for us as an individual, and ultimately discover the person within us uninfluenced by our family and we thrive, yet as soon as we step into the family enviornment, it can feel as if we are 12 years old again. 12 years old and right back to the old family dynamics (the scapegoat, the black sheep, the “good girl”, the troublemaker, the “failure”, the fragile one… etc etc) Thats what can be so difficult for people and the Holiday season. Its nostalgic, and some of us don’t like to reminisce on the past. For some of us, it doesnt feel good.It used to really bother me that my little sister would yell, “…you love your friends more than your family!” But its become much easier for me to allow them to repeat the same old phrases over and over, and so I pity the trouble of it all and simply watch from another perch, in some sense. I guess what i’m trying to say is that its easier for me to stay out of it now, but it also really pushes me away when they go right back to those family dynamics. I don’t get into it, but i also cant be there and deal with it. I have to stay away from it, and i find myself in situations such as this where I havent been home in over 7 days! But what an amazing week its been, and oh how much i love my friends (not more than my family, let me remind you. But in a different way that feels satisfying and is also a lot for fun to be around.) Tonight is New Years… I’m wearing a black little number with curly hair… its like a sexy little cupcake type of vibe, should be fun. The girls all have adorable dresses and the party is at wes and adrians. We’re drinking vodka tonics and champagne, and i’m pretty sure this is the 5th or 6th year running… I think its my favorite tradition 😉  Soooo HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL! My next post will be my new years resolutions. I hope everyone has a great night and I hope this year is going to kick as much ass as I expect it to. Love, Erika

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