Change, Growth, Home for the Holidays, Life, Sonoma, Starbucks

“There is nothing so stable as change.”

As of lately, I really need to post more often… i’m sorry!

 I had my last day at Starbucks a few days ago and I was bummed on it.  Starbucks was my first job ever, and it became a lot more to me than just hourly wage.  I made some amazing friends, not only coworkers but customers as well.  I was working there when not much felt right and well in my life; I always felt good at my job and it served as a healthy distraction for me during some tough times.  However, its time to move on and i’m ready for this change.

I drove Ashley to the airport last night. She’s heading back to Boston and her friend went with her.  It was sad to say goodbye… i’m always really terrible at goodbyes! I think I feel uncomfortable if i let myself get emotional or acknowledging that i may not see the person for a long time, or in some cases ever again.  I prefer the lighthearted TTFN, as Tigger would call it (Ta Ta For Now).

My sister and have such a complex, amazing relationship.  In some ways, i can’t imagine us being more different from each other.  We can be polar opposites, like 2 sides of a coin.  But in the same respect, you have to have the heads and the tails for it to be a quarter. We need one another, and even though we can be so different, we both understand that we’re in this together.  And so, our relationship works beautifully.

I’m feeling really stressed out lately with moving to SLO and getting everything situated.  I’ve noticed something about myself, too.  When I make a change, or a leap, if you will, I can’t be hasty about it. I hate feeling like the timing isnt quite right…. like when you’re waiting for a wave.  But when i feel prepared i’m like BOOM! I make that leap, or catch that wave with a big grin on my face and I don’t look back.  The right time is coming, Eva. I hope you can understand what I mean, I’ll be down there soon… please don’t be irritated with me, my ducks are almost in a row!

 So last on the agenda: whats with bad timing? And why do some situations feel all too familiar?  I think “bad timing” may not necessicarily be “bad”… rather, different than what we want, which is to say, what we want may not be the best thing for us.  And who really even knows whats best? I like what feels good; my intuition is usually pretty decent, but occasionally leads me astray. Right now i find myself in a situation that i’ve been in once before and although i’m trying to deal with it in a smart way, so that history doesnt repeat itself, i find myself constantly realizing how seperate the mind and the body are. My better judgement can easily take a back seat to, say, desire? Or something of the sort? While understanding that we can’t be logical all of the time, when do we draw the line? I think it’s when our decisions can hurt other people… and there you have it. I may have just given myself some very useful advice.

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