Today is my last day in Sonoma. I’m leaving tonight for San Luis Obispo, and even though I feel pretty much tip-top I must be having a difficult time on some level because I just cried for the first time in months. It was just a few tears, but I tried to push it as far along as possible– remember when you’d do that as a kid? I would push that cry along as hard as I could! I’d focus on it, focus on the tears and pity myself for crying until I couldn’t fake it any longer. Mind you, this was an exercise that (oddly enough) I’d do for my own sake, or for pity from the parents; by no means was I a bratty child. I hope others can relate to my crying technique or else then I wouldn’t know what to think about myself!
All my bags are packed, and I’m ready to go. Annnnnd thats as far as I’m going to follow John Denver… My family is having Red Grape (my favorite) for dinner and then we’re hittin’ the road and I feel very prepared and excited. The feeling that I have right now is hard to define. I feel like its a really big deal that I’m moving out, but I hate to show it. I want to hug my little sister and tell her to be a good girl, not to give my dad any flack, and to remember if she ever needs a vacation or some condoms, i’m here to help her out. That might be my dramatic side wanting to show itself… But really, I don’t know the next time I’ll be back here. I’m going to school year round and its just really strange to think how much will have happened between now and the next time I come home. That’s the characteristic of change, I guess.