Written at 6 pm:
First of all, I know that the post below was quite boring, although entirely interesting. Was it easy yo tell that Nacirema is American backwards?…I just found it enlightening to read about ones own culture from the perspective of a cultural anthropologist. What we see as normal and every-day is actually pretty ridiculous when looked at through scientific context.
“I have deep faith that the principles of the universe will be beautiful and simple” -Einstein
Today I feel heavy, like gravity increased. Today gravity is working against me, trying to bring me down. It’s taking a lot of effort to keep my chin up, and I know that I’m often much too hard on myself but I can’t seem to help it. I’m almost certain that I won’t be able to sleep tonight. The problem may be that I’m trying to regain my footing too quickly, when all the situation needs is time. I have a difficult time accepting that a decision can untimately and, perhaps, permanantely close doors and alter dynamics. I desperately wish that wouldnt happen.
I’m convinced that if my sister were to see me in this state she would know, within 2 seconds, that I’m not okay. I havent stopped nervously fluttering about, nervously twirling the hair, tracing my hands with my fingers and the plethera of my other nervous habits.
Written at 8:22 am:
Today is a beautiful day. Cheerio’s set the mood, I’m trying to keep my chin up but sometimes it’s difficult when I don’t even notice that I lower it. Usually my friends are the ones to call me out… it’s just another one of those quirky things that I do, but it sends the wrong body language to the world which is why i need to correct it.
I’m happy that my St. Patties Day was a bust. Home with Lauren this weekend, I can’t WAIT…. get me through get me through.