I know it’s been a long time since I last posted, but that isn’t to say I haven’t written… The following segments are partial blog posts that I’ve begun and was unable to publish over the past few days. It had been so long since I wrote this first portion that when I found it and read it, I didn’t even think I was the one who wrote it! The thought crossed my mind that I’d forgotten to log out of my blog account and someone went on and wrote me a letter. It nearly took the wind out of me…! I thought “Holy shit, who wrote this. I feel as though this person has known me my whole life…” ALAS, I have. I can be SUCH a dummy.
Out of utter confusion as to who youre writing for these days, you chose to begin at the root and write to yourself. To be perfectly honest, it’s past three in the morning and you can’t go to sleep. Lauren is asleep on the couch and you feel slightly jealous of her slow breathing right now…
You have too much going on in your mind to sleep.
I always like to think that the greatest challenge for a writer is to express themselves when they don’t feel like expressing, and to write when they don’t feel like writing. This exercise is extremely difficult, especially for stubborn people like me who think too much with their hearts. If I don’t feel like doing something, I’ll be damned if I do it. And if I want to accomplish something there is, quite honestly, few things or people that can stop me. I’m hyper tonight so I’ll be jumping around a lot, especially since I don’t feel like writing. At the moment I’m simply spouting off the top of my head so as not to neglect my blogging obligations.
I worked out hardcore this morning and my arms are really sore. I decided that I want to train for a 5k this summer to set my mind on something… as if Boston, John Mayer, Coldplay, summer school, and 2 jobs are not enough… My friend Peter thinks that girls peak at 22, in terms of looks and everything. I refuse to prove him right. How tragic!! That means I’d only have a few years left! But my mom is still beautiful, so I’m not very worried. I exercise, eat a low fat diet, wear sunscreen on my face, perhaps occasionally I drink more than the New York Times science journal recommends but hey. It’s the time and the place.
I gave myself a beautiful manicure today, cleaned out my car, hung out with my bunny, laughed with my roommates, ate vine ripe peaches on the beach, ran up the ridge behind my house… last night i spent the night at Eva’s and we slept waaay in. The alarm went off at 7am but we ended up waking up a 9:30 and I cooked us breakfast (delish.)
Not to freak anyone out, but last night I had a dream that I was like 8 and 3/4 months pregnant. I actually felt preggers, and everyone was commenting on how I looked like I “was going to burst at any moment!” or “wow! talk about a bun in the oven!” What is the DEAL with these dreams? HUH??
I mean, there is no way that I could actually be preggers, but what do the baby dreams mean? They are among the most vivid, auditory, realistic dreams I’ve ever had. What. Da. Deal.
Hugo e-mailed me today 🙂 I miss that boy!! He lives in England but spent last summer in Sonoma. We met during his last few weeks in the US and we barely parted for his remaining duration. I showed him around, and we and grew to be quite fond of him… it was so cute, I’d call him when I was outside his house and he’d hurry out with his hair wet, with his baseball hat and his “jumper” and sometimes his breakfast or lunch, smelling so fresh and delicious! Hahaha I’m such a goober for recalling all of it but honestly, I was unusually unsettled to see him go.
I should not be permitted to buy peanut butter since I can barely restrain myself from eating it with a spoon.
I feel like an IIIIIDIIIOT right now! I called my work earlier to see what time i work and she said “cinco.” Cool, except I didn’t take spanish in high school. I took french, so when I thought “cinco” for some completely stupid reason I thought “four o clock” and anyyyyway. Now I have an hour to kill.
I haven’t been posting lately. I’m sorry, just havent been feelin’ it and I also haven’t really had the time! Bad excuse, I know. I know.
Last night I closed the sandwich shop by myself and I felt so cool and responsible. Sweepin’ mopin’ countin’ skrilla lights off lockin’ doors… the process is especially cute in my adorable little apron.
FINALS ARE DONE! Moondoggie’s tonight, Lauren gets in by train at 8:30, party at Colleen’s, I’m not drinkin’… I’ve been workin’ out lately and my abs look awesome and my butt feels fabulous. I’m just throwin that out there…
So that’s my collage of a post. More to come, soon this time. I’m home now, suuuuper busy and it feels s loving here in Sonoma. I’m feelin’ the love, feelin’. That. Love.