I Just Want Some Honey Nut

This morning I have a massage appointment with my mom.  It’ll be exactly what my body needs.  That, and a bowl of cheerios.  

Thanksgiving was so fantastic, I shared it with some amazingly cool people.  There was a retired movie director there who told me a story about going to Andy Warhol’s Factory.  He said that there were silver balloons everywhere and that Warhol asked him to sit down and watch a movie of Bob Dylan sitting still in a chair for 30 minutes.  How cool is that?

He owns an original Warhol as well…  what a life.

Today is going to be a wonderful day, I can feel it in my bones.  And now I’m going to hunt down some breakfast.  Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving!


Thanks For:

  • A roof over my head.
  • My loving and supportive family&friends.
  • Good health.
  • The opportunities I have and the ability to live to my full potential.
Holiday Season 2008, love, Parties, Sonoma


I’m hoooome! 

My “honey” is my little sister who, bless her heart, is rolling out pie crusts and peeling apples.  She didn’t have a seaming pie fresh out of the oven waiting for me, but I guess I’ll forgive her : )  ‘Tis the season, right?

Ha.  But really, it feels great to be home for the holidays.  Last night I stayed over at Molly’s beautiful house over looking the valley and we hot tubbed and it felt like I was on vacation in Tuscany.  I did forget to pack the pile of shirts I picked out, so I don’t have any tops!  But I’ll make do.  You’ll just see me wearing dresses far more often than normal.

Tonight I was going to have some girlfriends over to drink wine and hot tub because my Dad is out of town but we’re going to go to the Sonoma Lodge instead. ‘Cause we high class, thats how we roll.

I hope everyone has a joyful Thanksgiving, don’t eat too much pumpkin pie… drive safe, wear your seatbelt, maintain a safe following distance, don’t hit a dip going too fast… (by the way, it turns out McKenna fractured a vertebrae in her lower back!  I hope she heals quickly and throughly…. poor thing)

Happy Turkey Day babes. Xoxoxo














vote NO on 8 🙂n502000349_2065718_2920

Adventures, Death, Parties, San Luis Obispo

Garnish With Carrots

2 days ago, a friend of my roommates (and also of mine) who used to live in the loft that I live in, surprised us on his way home for Thanksgiving.  He brought us a bottle of homemade beer and a painting that his roommate painted.

Without knowing any sort of a tiny piece of the horrible bunny-death fiasco, the painting he gave us depicts a dead rabbit, partially covered in a blanket, with a bottle spilling orange colored liquid just next to him.  There is a shopping cart in the background and the painting is called “Homeless Rabbit Dies of Carrot Overdose.”  It’s hanging on our living room wall.  It absolutely spectacular,  I really love it.  I want to buy another one of his paintings.


So after we had a little chuckle about that, Mckenna and I went to the house we were at right before the little car incident happened.  This group of drunk people were there, and one girl remembered me from a party I threw because I had bunnies in the back yard.  Mckenna told her that, unfortunately, the bunnies died…

She started screaming at me, “YOU KILLED YOUR BUNNIES!! YOU KILLED YOUR BUNNIES??!”  and no one else knew what was going on and so they started asking, shocked, “You killed your bunny rabbits??!  Why did you do that???”  The girl continued to yell this, and then the guy standing next to her realized he had a rabbit emblem on the back of his t-shirt and the girl was pointing to the shirt yelling, “You killed your bunnies!  You killed this little animal!”

It was so dramatic, I didn’t know what to do… I was shocked.  This was before I’d taken any shots, by the way.  My eyes welled up,  not because I felt sad but because I felt overwhelmed and infuriated! Mckenna was frantically trying to defend me, yelling back, “The bunnies DIED!  THEY DIED!  She did not kill them!”  

And all I got in edge-wise was, “I’m trying to have a good humor about this but I’m having a hard time.” 

And then I caught my reflection in the window, wearing a wife beater, a cardigan, dark eyeshadow and a black manicure… and I wondered if I was coming off as prudish and stringent, like some sort of soft animal lover, or if I was coming off as a bad ass since I had black nail polish on.  But I decided it was neither.

So now I’m kicking myself for allowing ANYONE to speak to me the way I let that obnoxious slut speak to me.  Maybe she was a lost cause anyway, and I don’t negotiate with obnoxious sluts.  Moral of the story is:

When an obnoxious slut makes you feel upset, perhaps you should follow your instincts, ignore your better judgement, pound a couple shots, and pound her in the face accordingly.  Garnish with carrots, serves 10.


This is me, Warholized.

This is me, Warholized.



So tonight Mckenna and I hot tubbed in Avila Beach for an hour and a half, to soak our sore, battered bodies.  I feel more sore now than I did before we dipped, but hopefully I’ll feel better in the morn. I’ve got some gnarly bruises and some major swelling on my booty/hip but I’m thankful it’s not a lot worse like it could have been.  Happy Monday everyone.  We’re almost there, the holiday break is close.


“Ouchy” Don’t DO no JUSTICE.

It’s one in the morning and McKenna and I are sitting, quite unexpectedly, on Eva’s futon.  

Earlier this evening we pre-partied and took a couple shots of JD and piled into a 4runner, the driver of which was sober.  The place we were headed was only 2 blocks away, so we thought we’d be fine sitting unbelted in the very back since there weren’t enough seats for us.  We were blasting Sublime and I turned to McKenna and laughed that I felt like I was in high school again.

We passed the party, so the guy driving went up a block and turned around.  I don’t know if he was annoyed or just thinking it was a good time, but he accelerated toward a dip in the road from about 200 yards away.  

From that point on it felt like slow motion, myself and the others in the car yelled at him to SLOW DOWNNNN!!  I braced myself on the roof and the seat, but we hit the dip going at least 40 miles and hour.  I swear, it was so weird it was like slow motion.  I closed my eyes during, but I can see it all happening.  

My head hit the roof so hard my neck bent and my shoulders hit and I can see Mckenna in front of me, airborne, and then as we landed we bounced again. My mind immeditally began accessing the situation.  I think I was yelling at the top of my lungs, and same for Mckenna.  At first I thought I lost some teeth, or bit my tounge, but I didn’t.  My head was okay, neck… felt okay. I went down the list, and then my attention diverted to Mckenna who was obviously in enormous pain.  She landed on a bunch of car shocks he had in the back that we were partially sitting on top of.  I avoided them, lucky for me.

The car stopped and I jumped out, soaring on adrenaline.  Mckenna had me feeling so scared, I didn’t know what to do.  She was sobbing and I was holding her softly and asking her if she wanted to lie down. I called Eva and her boyfriend Ken was really close by.  He was working the late night tow truck shift and he got there within minutes and picked us up.

CUT to real time:  Now the adrenaline has gone away and our conclusion is that Mckenna took the impact in one general area (her back) and I took it in a number of different spots (my knee, my right butt cheek, my elbow and my hand…)  We’re about to fall asleep, but I’m not sure I can.

We haven’t we gone to the hospital because Mckenna’s insurance doesn’t cover her in SLO and my injuries are just really swollen and bruised, no need for the ER.  We’re going to take medical measures in the morning.  She’s got a heating pad and 800 mg of ibuprofen and her breathing is calm now, I really think she’ll be fine until morning.

I can’t believe how quickly things can change.  I realize now that the next time I think, “I feel like I’m in high school!”  I’ll think how stupid we are in high school and I’ll stop whatever it is I’m doing.


McKenna says” fuck my life….”

Until tomorrow… goodnight.

Friends, Life, love

He’s Just Not That Into You

The movie is coming out soon, Eva and I just saw a preview and got a little bit excited.

That phrase utters such truth!  You know, visa versa as well.

I usually don’t talk about my romances on my blog because I feel they deserve a certain amount of privacy, respect, and they certainly shouldn’t be broadcast on here for the world to see.  But this romance has ended (mind you: without any trace of the respect I might offer it by not writing about it on my blog.) so I feel I can tell about it.

Even though I love being single, I met this great guy who I felt a connection with, who treated me amazingly and with respect, and I thought these things would make it easy to be in a relationship.  It was fantastic for a short while, about 2 months, maybe less… I tried to be a great girlfriend, and I was thoughtful and sweet, but being someones girlfriend wasn’t what I wanted to be.  So I don’t think I gave him the attention and love that he gave to me, and it didn’t feel right.  

When the exchange between 2 people isn’t balanced, someone ends up feeling used and getting hurt.  And the more time passes, the worse the hurt feelings are.  When I realized my unwillingness to be in a relationship, I didn’t want to continue any further. So the night before I was planning on telling him this and, ultimately, ending the relationship, I replied to a text message with an acknowledgement of my recent aloof behavior. I said I’d hoped we could talk about it the next evening.  His response ended with the phrase that everyone knows,

“it isn’t working…”

In a text!  An act of which one could recall from the 5th grade, perhaps?  And then he refused to meet up and talk with me the next day, talk it through, end with closure and on good terms.  He said he didn’t want to invest any more energy into it because he’d already put too much time and money “and everything else.”

I’ve never, ever let guys pay partially out of fear of this sort of guilt…. this “debt owed” sort of feeling.  My friends and my mom’s friends always told me “let the guy pay, let the guy pay” and I finally listened…then.. this.  He chalks it up to time and money wasted.

So besides the fact that it was over anyway, all I’m left with is the thought that true character was revealed and I’m actually just pretty bummed on it. It made me feel like I was in middle school again, hurt by some playground jokes the mean girls taunted me with or something.

I could try to remain cordial in hopes of someday gaining a friendship, but I don’t want a friendship with him.  

I hope he learns not to be a fool willing to give more than he receives, and to control his defense mechanisms better. (Eva said, “it could be worse, he could have pooped on your front porch!”) He could have been a gentleman about it, too.

What an ASSHOLE!

Humor, politics

This, to me, is extremely funny…

The Attorney General fainted while talking about the legal practices of the Bush Administration………. how appropriate!  If I knew what he knew, it’d make me faint too…


I couldn’t find a video that showed the funniest part (this one comes really close)  but an agent says into the microphone, “the agents have this under control!”  Just seconds after they were yelling for a doctor in the house…

As of now, Attorney General Michael Mukasey is doing just fine.



The going is tough, and I’m trying to be Grace Kelly but it’s hard!

When things feel difficult and overwhelming I get this insatiable urge to flee.  I’ve made choices such as going to Santa Rosa high school rather than my hometown high school after my parents divorce, or my senior year switching back to my hometown high school after a major heartbreak, and taking a 2 month backpacking trip through Japan alone after I graduated high school to cope with the enormous stress of my lack of a conventional direction…. but these are just the major events.  When I felt stressed at home I would jump in my car and drive as fast as possible to San Francisco, I’d get a chai on Chestnut Street, and I’d turn right around and drive back.

All of these things have made me feel better, I always return, but is running away the right thing to do?  There are some coping mechanisms or devices that are bad, that one should work to keep from doing.  I don’t think running away is bad, as long as I return quickly and deal.

Tonight I started to feel like I was on the verge of a melt down, so I jumped up, put my running shoes on and took off.  That’s the good type of running away, and now I feel clarity. And I can get myself on track. My problems are miniscule and I’m not alone in them.  So that’s that! 🙂