Friends, Life, love

He’s Just Not That Into You

The movie is coming out soon, Eva and I just saw a preview and got a little bit excited.

That phrase utters such truth!  You know, visa versa as well.

I usually don’t talk about my romances on my blog because I feel they deserve a certain amount of privacy, respect, and they certainly shouldn’t be broadcast on here for the world to see.  But this romance has ended (mind you: without any trace of the respect I might offer it by not writing about it on my blog.) so I feel I can tell about it.

Even though I love being single, I met this great guy who I felt a connection with, who treated me amazingly and with respect, and I thought these things would make it easy to be in a relationship.  It was fantastic for a short while, about 2 months, maybe less… I tried to be a great girlfriend, and I was thoughtful and sweet, but being someones girlfriend wasn’t what I wanted to be.  So I don’t think I gave him the attention and love that he gave to me, and it didn’t feel right.  

When the exchange between 2 people isn’t balanced, someone ends up feeling used and getting hurt.  And the more time passes, the worse the hurt feelings are.  When I realized my unwillingness to be in a relationship, I didn’t want to continue any further. So the night before I was planning on telling him this and, ultimately, ending the relationship, I replied to a text message with an acknowledgement of my recent aloof behavior. I said I’d hoped we could talk about it the next evening.  His response ended with the phrase that everyone knows,

“it isn’t working…”

In a text!  An act of which one could recall from the 5th grade, perhaps?  And then he refused to meet up and talk with me the next day, talk it through, end with closure and on good terms.  He said he didn’t want to invest any more energy into it because he’d already put too much time and money “and everything else.”

I’ve never, ever let guys pay partially out of fear of this sort of guilt…. this “debt owed” sort of feeling.  My friends and my mom’s friends always told me “let the guy pay, let the guy pay” and I finally listened…then.. this.  He chalks it up to time and money wasted.

So besides the fact that it was over anyway, all I’m left with is the thought that true character was revealed and I’m actually just pretty bummed on it. It made me feel like I was in middle school again, hurt by some playground jokes the mean girls taunted me with or something.

I could try to remain cordial in hopes of someday gaining a friendship, but I don’t want a friendship with him.  

I hope he learns not to be a fool willing to give more than he receives, and to control his defense mechanisms better. (Eva said, “it could be worse, he could have pooped on your front porch!”) He could have been a gentleman about it, too.

What an ASSHOLE!


6 thoughts on “He’s Just Not That Into You

  1. To-San says:

    So, what did he get for his time and money? Only to be seen with the prettiest girl in town…and to talk and banter with with one of the most articulate and thoughtful people ON THE PLANET!!!
    I’m so sorry!
    It’s his loss!

  2. rayna says:

    erika, my beautiful, we all know your intellect surpasses every 20 year old whateer dorkess you meet. and anyway you’re the carrie bradsaw in my heart, i need my fabulous single best friends. i love you so.

  3. Michael says:

    What a asshole that punk is. I wonder if that loser would of asked for xmas presents his cheap ass might have bought for you back.

    You are a doll. Be free and single my friend.

    Im sorry you had to go through that. Guys like him ruin it for guys like me.

    I promise there are good ones out there!!!!

    Can we go to coffee now? jk (maybe someday?)

    be well

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