T’was Christmas today…was a formidable day, filled with laughter and fun, then also with uncontrollable crying. I will explain.
First off, I got the perfect kind of presents. A set of very nice pots and pans from my mom, an amazing book called Cultural Amnesia from my dad (that I cannot hardly wait to read), an adorable hat from Lauren, poetry from my grandmother…
My grandmother… to whom I sent flowers earlier this month. They were tulips with a very nice note signed, “Love always, your spunky dinkledwarf,” because thats what she calls me. When she told my family about my gift over a dinner I had to miss, they talked her out of the notion that I was the one who sent the blossoming bulbs. “Erika is flat broke, she has not a penny to her name! How could she send flowers?” It must have been our cousin on the east coast, they told her.
Misguided by my doubtful family and ignoring her strong instinct, my Grandma called my cousin to thank him–and he took credit for them! When I found this out I pulled out my hot iron and smoothed the situation right quick. Alas, credit was finally given where credit was due. Love you Grandma 🙂
Okay, so… great day. And then, my family and I went to see The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. I’m not going to sequester or hide what happened tonight.
I tried to stop. I tried as hard as I could; I lifted my chin and took countless deep breaths, I looked upward, I thought of happy things… but, uncontrollably, I softly and steadily cried for the last 45 minutes of the movie.
I haven’t cried like that in forever. It was all so touching to me… the concept of death, of life–of grasping life because “you never know what’s comin’ to gettcha.” On top of it all, these eternal love stories keep sucker punching me. I haven’t felt like this since I was a little girl, since before I was acquainted with love but I wanted it so badly.
So even after the movie was over, I still couldn’t stop crying. My sisters were laughing at me and it was so absurd I would start to laugh also! But then I’d think of how crazy I must look (laughing, crying, laughing) and so I’d start to cry again.
After the movie, I had to quickly exit the theater and make a dash for my car(still softly crying) I think the movie had such an effect on me because I’ve always taken movies really personally–I let them have a huge effect on me.
Especially this movie because I felt it beautifully captured everything I believe to be true about the world and how life should be lived. That will always be enough to touch me.
My eyes hurt, I’m in dire need of sleep and I’m PMSing. That may have something to do with it, too…