This is her. She’s not classified as a hurricane yet, but she will. I’ve been carefully monitoring her and she’s definitely forming into a cyclone. I’m not interested in my blog lately, and I don’t feel like writing lately either, but I will be updating about Hurricane Erika. I hope she’s fierce but doesn’t touch land. I’m hope she’s gentle if she does.
…For one of my best friends (Mckenna) who just moved to Santa Barbara! This was our summer, plain and simple:
Check this guy OUT. Yeah…. I know.
I know. He’s not fine or anything. The best part is, I seriously really like his rapping style (unlike my appreciation for T.I. which is superficial in every sense) Drake’s mix tape So Far Gone is: fun, thoughtful (with conviction) and honest (with admirable prose and lyrical style.) Not to mention, and I hope I don’t sound funny saying this, ‘DEM BEATS ARE OFF THE CHAIN.
… could not be better or more thouroughly described than with the words of my sister.
Her blog post on the trip sums it up, and then some 🙂
I begin school tomorrow… just went back-to-school shopping which consisted of: a (v-neck)white t-shirt, liquid eyeliner, (shower fresh)deodorant, 2 notebooks (swimming pool blue and sunflower yellow), pens (black Pilot brand, always), (vanilla)soy milk, (roma)tomatoes, pita bread, free-trade Swiss dark chocolate, (baked) tortilla chips& (chipotle)salsa, bright red nail polish, and a ferris bueller folder. BAZAOW!… a minor dent until it’s time to buy books, which I’m scared of because it’s going to be expensive and I feel like my dad has already forked over an arm and a leg for rent/security deposit this month. Every semester it’s like I have to use my intuition to figure out which book I don’t have to buy… I’ve been lucky so far.
I’ve got all of my medical stuff pretty much figured out… My immune system is really low, according to the doctors, and it’s probably due to stress, which is causing a number of other problems. Test results came back and to put it simply, stage 1 is the least severe and stage 4 is cancer, and I have stage 1, which will probably clear itself up once I get my immune system back up. I have vitamins and supplements and Emergen-C and I’m drinking lots of water and getting lots of sleep… the funny thing is I don’t feel stressed, it’s a different kind of stress that your body expresses in different ways; some people gain weight, have headaches, are tired, and my body slows it’s immune system, probably because it’s the only way it can make me stop and rest. I have to pay attention to this for the rest of my life. I’m going to find a really good, young doctor in San Francisco to build a relationship with so that I can have an opinion I trust and a doctor that knows me and that I can go to for many years to come. My dad had that idea, and the thought was brought up that I could have this doctor through pregnancy one day and that pretty much blew my mind.
I think I have my first cavity… I can feel it when i brush my teeth and, oddly enough, when I run. So there’s still that to sort out 🙂
Otherwise, I’m just hanging out, developing my list of questions to ask the Iranian boy that my friend Kellyn works with. If I got a tattoo, not to say that I am, because I don’t think I ever would, but hypothetically speaking, it would be a line from a Rumi poem in Arabic. But only after I actually WENT to Iran. WHICH I WOULD LOVE TO DO. I’d only wear a casual hijab, and I’d wear nail polish and have a male Farsi translator. Actually, that would be so illegal… but I’d love to try. In all reality I’d probably end up wearing a full-on hijab and strictly abiding by the laws of the land. Or else, I’d probably be made an example of. Anyway, there I go speculating again–something that really bothers my friend Mckenna, only because she happens to be an even bigger speculator than I am (asking questions like, “What if Drake were singing about YOU?”) OOooo she’s going to be mad when she reads this! FUNNY ‘CAUSE IT’S TRUE! FUNNY ‘CAUSE IT’S TRUE!
Wish me luck crashing tons of classes tomorrow. xoxoxo…
I’ve always viewed life as a series of different loves and relationships. Each of these loves are unique; some may overlap, some may end before we’re ready, some may end tragically, and some may continue forever. It may be love for a color, a friend, a lover, but also maybe a person who you connect with on the subway, who says something to change your mind… it could be someone you meet on twitter, a character in a book, and it could be yourself.
My relationship with myself is as complex and evolving as a relationship could be, and I can see all of the changes by reading my journals from past ages. In vivid color: at my happiest, I’m swimming-pool blue, and at my worst, I am neon yellow. At my happiest I feel feminine yet strong, at my worst I feel lonely and out of control.
When I say ‘lonely’ I don’t mean what some others mean when they say or think of the term ‘lonely’. I mean to say that I feel without deep, personal connection and laughter at a time that I desire laughter and connection, which is to say, I don’t have my sisters or my close friends and family. Obviously, something is terribly wrong with me because I don’t care to have a boyfriend to keep me from feeling lonely. Just playinnn! The fact is, I haven’t met any boy who has satiated loneliness when I feel lonely, which is to say, I haven’t felt the right combination of close personal connection and admiration. Of course, the short relationships I’ve had weren’t false, and they’ve contributed to my life in that they were chapters in the series of relationships that I’m speaking of as life. I’ve lost what little tolerance I had for false intimacy.
I’m the most ‘girly’ I’ve ever been, or ever imagined I would be. I’ve stopped caring about what others think more than I ever imagined, also. Liberating myself from worry of the opinion of other has, in turn, allowed me to become more feminine. I don’t care what someone thinks of the color of my hair, or the shade of my nail polish. If I look how I feel, why should I care about what other think of me? Should they think me luke warm or unoriginal, I don’t mind. I honestly think this feeling comes from being educated, which is so liberating and re-enforcing, I don’t care to prove myself to anyone, only to myself.
I’m watching Generation Islam, which displays EXCELLENT, inspirational reporting by Christiane Amanpour. She investigates the good and the ugly of the Muslim religion in a number of different countries such as Pakistan and Afghanistan. I think that whenever a society targets an ‘enemy’ they should saturate themselves in education about that ‘enemy’ because everyone knows education=tolerance and normally you will find that there is nothing to fear. Unfortunately, that is not the case with fundamentalist Islam, but knowing about their interpretation of the Qur’an and the way they recruit more fundamentalists will help us to stop the circulation of violence.
Something I’ve learned while studying Iran and Islam is the different interpretations of ‘beauty’ and how all are beautiful. A brown-eyed woman wearing a hijab is just as beautiful as a south-eastern woman dancing in a grass skirt. Knowledge makes the world a more beautiful place, makes me feel like a more beautiful person, more in touch with who I am as a woman, and better able to relate to the woman in the hijab and the grass skirt. I believe in silver lining and that the world can be a small and beautiful place. All it takes is curiosity, laughter and a willingness to share what you know of beauty.
I can’t just sit tight for any highly anticipated surprised. I DIG for them and I usually find them out. It’s my greatest downfall, you might say. Anyway, here are my new discoveries concerning John Mayer and his new Battle Studies Album:
the set list from his secret show on Sunday at the Troubadour:
Wait ‘Til Tomorrow (Hendrix Cover)
Come When I Call (Trio)
Crossroads (Clapton Cover)
Never Say Never (Fray cover, i’m assuming)
Aint No Sunshine (Bill Withers Cover)
Turn The Lights Down Low (Bob Marley Cover)
Perfectly Lonely (Lyrics finished in the greenroom/bathroom prior to the set) Battle Studies!!
What You Gonna Do About It
California Dreamin’ (Mamas and Papas Cover)
Who Did You Think I Was (Trio song)
Some Battle Studies Songs:
Perfectly Lonely (mentioned above!)
War of My Life
Half of My Heart
And lastly, a treat: John Mayer goes naked, and works on minimizing his notorious facial expressions: