It’s been forever since I posted a blog, undoubtedly because I was extraordinarily busy with the clothing drive and school. Well, I have 2 weeks until finals and frankly…. I can kind of understand why some students commit suicide. I know that’s really morbid, and I’m not having suicidal thoughts. All I’m saying is that I can understand how someone who’s not psychologically stable should really collapse under this pressure…. Might I conclude this empathetic thought by making it clear that the pressure I’m under is not nearly as much as, say, a 4th year engineering student. I’m one of the lucky ones.
Wow, I didn’t realize until this moment that I really missed my blog. Eva went away for a few days so I’m sleeping with my door open just for the hell of it. I’m usually a closed-door, total darkness kind of sleeper. I guess since the moon has been beaming directly through my window into my face for the past week, I’m willing to make other changes in my sleeping condition. At least there are no more cats.
It’s not looking like a romantic winter for me, at least music wise. Love life is good though. But my music is dark this winter, which says nothing about my mind state except for that I’m not nostalgic (yet) about Christmas time. I almost had a moment at Trader Joes, though, when I stuck my face in the display of Christmas wreathes.
But as for my music, it’s mostly indie lately. Indie, with the exception of classical violin sonatas in the mornings, and the occasional Taylor Swift song…… okay, the oft-occurring Taylor Swift song. I just can’t resist her naiveté. Her lyrics make me feel like I should’ve felt in middle school. It’s not quite nostalgia since rather than feeling cheery and hopeful for love in middle school, I felt empty and anxious. I think a lot of people felt that way. Middle school was rough, and high school was pretty rough too. Indie music takes me right back to high school, because it was all I listened to. I just talked to a bunch of friends from high school and we all concluded that we were all a bit depressed back then and didn’t even realize it. These were the happy kids in the quad, mind you… we chanted the fight song and smiled a lot. you would have never known it. But it’s true.
Anyway, I need Taylor Swift in my life with all of this indie music. She’s like a kitschy shot in the arm among often over-calibrated, obscure indie music. Every song is like a piece in a modern art museum… some of it ugly, some of it rude, some over-simplified, and all of it trying to make some kind of heroic statement and observation about the world. I like it. I like it in the same way I like post-modern art: alone and instead of a cigarette.
I’m going to bed, without my retainers, because I just don’t give a fuck. Indie music has that effect on me.
Has anyone seen Fantastic Mr. Fox? I’m just dying to go. If you have, let me know what you thought.