2013, NYC

Corrupting the Youth

I haven’t posted in years.

I’m considering taking up blogging again because I’d like to use it as a platform to share with more depth than I allow myself on Tumblr.  I’ve realized, upon logging in a few moments ago, that this blog has become a time capsule of myself.  The “LOVE” page, for instance, is completely hilarious to me.  I find it endearing, like seeing a child you used to babysit who has since become a young adult. Revisiting my younger self make me reconsider invigorating this blog–I’d quite like to keep this time capsule as-is rather than corrupt it with my older, more revolting and less idealistic mind.

The truth is, I’m grasping for a way to stay sane because I can’t run anymore, and I can’t binge on carbs–both former coping mechanisms. I might have an auto immune disease, but we’re not sure.   What I do know is that I have something, some kind of illness that will require a major lifestyle shift and I’m desperate to make it as graceful as possible.

Decidedly, I’m turning to culture as a form of escapism.  I’m going to read books, write, make art, go to the ballet, the opera, the theater; I’m going to watch movies, go to workshops, talks, conferences, museums, galleries, open studios; I’m going to make salads in the same way that some people make cookies (inventively and constantly) and when I feel like stuffing my face with food I’m going to buy a basket full of fruit and when I feel like running I’m going to dance.

I have an important doctors appointment tomorrow with a rheumatologist.  Hopefully I can get a diagnosis and some medication for my swollen, achy bones.


2 thoughts on “Corrupting the Youth

  1. Connie Butler says:

    Dear Erika, How can you be so mature at your age, so creative and such a thoughtful and insightful writer? Don’t forget your dreams and working to express them too, Yes I am at it again, but you are a master of your own fate and the captain of your own boat. I see you have a fine course set and although there may be some suffering it is unavoidable and can be used as the best teacher. And then there is love which you are surrounded by at all times, family and good angels hovering just off your left shoulder. You are a light in my life spunk. Love Grandma

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