ITS BEEN A YEARRR since Eva and I did Warm a Cold Shoulder, our successful winter clothing drive for the homeless. I can’t believe that a year has since passed and I’ve barely done a charitable thing since except for donate blood. What has happened to meee??
It makes me consider the past year. So much has happened, I’ve accomplished so much. At this time last year I scarcely thought I would get into USF for Spring Semester. I felt a yearning to be something more, and I made it happen. Here I am; I got in to USF, I got an internship with the de Young Museum, I dated and dumped the asshole guy I adored forever (older readers will remember Salami Love) I spent the summer in New York City, I made friends all over the world, I helped put on a special exhibition at the Thacher Gallery, and I got a job working at another gallery…. Oh yeah, and I watched my hair grow.
Watching my hair grow is like cultivating my life. 1) It takes feels like it takes FOREVER to cultivate, but then you realize the time zoomed by 2) It’s never long enough, it’s never good enough 3) I can’t seem to appreciate it in the moment and I’m always looking forward to the future (“I hate my hair now, but it will look good SOMEDAY it just needs a few inches” [I was saying this same thing 2 years ago.]) 4) The quality of it depends on little decisions you make every day. For hair: food, water, exercise, sleep. For life: food, water, exercise, sleep…. attitude, compassion, motivation…
In the midst of it, how can you be sure your decisions will lead to what you actually want in life? How can you be sure that you won’t hate long hair and end up cutting it, despite the discipline it took to get there… I guess in life, quite often we find ourselves right back where we left off. The important thing, perhaps, is venturing out despite that possibility. When you end up right back where you left off, you’re aren’t who you were the last time you were there.
So I’ll watch my hair grow another year, perhaps 2 years, and if I don’t end up liking it, I’ll chop it and know it wasn’t all just a waste of time.
Besos mi amores, xoxo.